How to Keep From Feeling so Alone

Throughout my sporadic and fickle blogging years I have noticed that the posts in which I share a struggle or a difficult life event are always my most popular.

Why is this? Let me suggest it is for the same reason that we find solace in books and movies.

We want to know that we are not alone.

I found this quote after I wrote this post but it's nice to know Lewis agrees with me. :)

We want to know that we are not the only one who feels like they can't make friends. The only one who struggles with completely losing focus. The only one who wishes they were not single.

Trust me, as an INFJ, one of the most rare personality types out there, I can sympathize.

(Yes I just told you that you are not alone in feeling alone.)

Some of my personal insecurities involve me wondering if I should do something more impactful with my life and if anyone else feels that same fear no matter what they are doing with their life. I wonder if am the only one who has a clear and concise explanation in my head which exits my mouth as complete gibberish. Or if I am the only one who develops phenomenal headaches when I sense conflict around me even if it is not directed towards me.

I never feel as if I can explain my feelings completely to someone else and have them understand. (This is textbook INFJ behavior for those of you who enjoy studying Myers-Briggs)

When I read blogs written by honest authors however, I am encouraged to see that many of them wonder about their life paths. A great portion of them claim to make no sense half the time they talk to someone in person and this comforts me too. I enjoy these blogs/bloggers and they warm my heart because I can relate.

To continue with the statement I made at the beginning of this post-- my favorite books and movies involve socially awkward people making a strong impact on the world especially if they do it despite adversity and conflict.

Allow me to suggest that this feeling of aloness is natural and perhaps even God given.

We long for that one person who understands everything we do and say, who can sympathize with all of our struggles. The Myers-Briggs personality geeks say that an INFJ especially is always looking for their "soul mate".

This is true of me, except that I have actually found mine.

My soul mate is Jesus.

Cliche sounding I know but the Sunday School answer of "Jesus" is often the correct answer.

Consider Hebrews 4:15: "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin."

In the days of the Old Testament the high priest of Israel was just another human. He was different from every other person so despite the fact that he sacrificed on the Day of Atonement for all Israel he was unable be the relatable spiritual leader they desired. He had different struggles and he sinned.

Jesus is not like that. He knows everything we struggle with on a very intimate level because he spent 33 years here on earth himself. But most importantly he completed those 33 years without sinning.

We've all heard the saying that nature abhors a vacuum.  I'm going to suggest that God created us to desire someone to always be there, always understand, and always have a solution to our problems because he wanted to instill us with a desire for Him.

Don't try filling this gap with human companionship and empathy. The best relationships on earth will still never be as fulfilling as one with your Soul Mate.

My apologies if I seem to just vanish this month. I have an incredibly busy next couple of weeks.