To Move or Not To Move

A random house I fell in love with on a vacation years ago.

It hadn't occurred to me just what a drag the decision to move or not was making on me until my co-workers at the crisis pregnancy center commented on it. They had no idea I was considering anything but several of them kindly suggested that I seemed down.


Once I finally made the decision I understood that the truth had been right in front of me. I really did not want to move it just seemed the logical decision. I even made a list of the pros and cons and took note that they were stacked highly in favor of a move. But that didn't change the fact that the thought made me indescribably sad. The conflict between Heart and Brain was pulled me down.

Part of my interest in moving spawned from a potentially dangerous desire for independence. After all,  I am well into my adult years and why should I still live with my parents? I felt I was ready to be free to change the way I did some things. Ready to not have to ask them every time I considered a trip. Or double check before I went out for the evening.

However, I made the decision to stay. And once I did I began to look forward to another year of encouraging my mother, of having good meals (I have some dietary restrictions and can't eat out easily) provided for me without me having to make them after a long day, and getting help from my father, who has more degrees than a thermometer, on homework. The feeling of being vastly blessed overwhelmed me and I knew I had made the right choice even though much of the world would scratch their heads at it.

I was okay with submitting directly to my parents for another year. Joyful even when I knew that it had been my decision and that it was the right one for now.

On a different note, I got officially accepted into college. Turns out it was not as terrifying a task as I had felt three weeks ago when I first started considering it. And now that I am officially in, I am getting a little excited. Not about the course work, because who could get excited about "Bookkeeping" and "Keyboarding Skills II"? Just at the opportunities college presents. It's a chance to meet new people and make new friends which I find very difficult in my current activities. Granted it's a chance not a guarantee  but I don't mind taking a chance like that. It can be exciting to walk through open doors into futures full of potential growth and blessings!

...now to try and get scholarships despite my very late application...