Does Prayer Change Things or Does Prayer Change Me?// My Crazy Week!

I have not had much time for breathing this week much less blogging. I had orchestra practice, put in my weekly hours volunteering at the local crisis pregnancy center, spent two evenings getting involved with a local churches' (not mine) outreach to internationals, went hiking with an old high school friend, and attended a meet and greet for the Master Gardeners Class that I am planning on attending in April. Every evening I was home, and many of the evenings I was not, my family had company. I cooked three suppers out of the five week day ones, made bread, and cleaned in between waves of over night guests. To top it off I had signed up for a three day online class complete with lectures and handouts which occurred in the latter half of this week. Oh, and how could I forget?? I jammed my left thumb playing volleyball last night and it is now both painful and immobile from swelling. 

Like I said, it has been a busy week!

But it has also been one of the most satisfying weeks I have ever had.

There are two things you should know about me: 1.) I am an introvert  2.) I lean towards being a perfectionist. Neither of the traits ever contribute to me having a satisfying week.

Monday morning when I looked back and forth between my daily planner and the calendar on my phone I began to feel discouraged.  Every single day was packed with new social challenges for me and I knew without a doubt that I would fail every one.

I was going to arrive at the internationals events with nothing to say and no one to say it to. The crisis pregnancy center would have nothing for me to do and I would be forced to sit around and make small talk (did I mention small talk is the bane of my introvert existence?). Despite practicing for 360 minutes last week I was going to miss notes and squawk my violin so loudly that the my Orchestra 2 instructor would pack me back to Level 1 which I had worked hard to skip out of. Or perhaps the Master Gardeners would tell me that the class was not offered to anyone under sixty.

This list of my worries goes on and gets more ridiculous.

Finally I remembered something that Anne Ortlund mentioned in her book Disciplines of a Beautiful Woman.

Each morning when she got up and looked over her list for the day she prayed. She asked God for help accomplishing her tasks well and quickly, for confidence when she met for coffee with an unbelieving friend, for safety as she drove to her appointments.

Basically she considered her day, took note of the potential issues, and brought them to the Lord's feet.

In my Monday morning panic I thought of this and took a few minutes to tell God my fears for the following day. I ended my prayer with, "Lord, You know I want to look good today but it's Your reputation that really matters. Please use me to glorify You and if I look ridiculous in the process, so be it."

In orchestra I played so well that the teacher and I had a duet rather than all of the students, including myself, scraping along miserably a measure behind her. The crisis pregnancy center had a huge stack of work for me and I got along splendidly with the other volunteer. The Master Gardeners were delighted at the prospect of someone 40-50 years younger than them taking the class. I joined in on the Biblical discussion at Internationals and was able to help one of the Saudi guys understand a small element of our Christian beliefs.  And I was able to play volleyball with the international students and therefore build some relationships without the dread small talk. The only part of my week that was not tinged with gold was the thumb jamming episode during said volleyball but we'll not talk about that right now...

Looking back at my week now that it is Saturday and I miraculously have nothing better to do than catch my breath and ice my thumb, I'm not sure it was really that different than most other weeks in my life.

The change was in my heart and attitude. I was able to enjoy, appreciate, and laugh at myself because I knew God's reputation was what mattered. Not mine. My perspective changed, not necessarily my circumstances.

In his song "Self Worship" B. Morr asks --- "Does prayer change things or does prayer change me?"

What do you think? 

Have you ever noticed prayer changing your attitude rather than your circumstances?