Seven Down, Nine To Go

Chattanooga, TN

Almost seven weeks into school and I have only thrown up once, fainted twice, and lost 10 pounds.

No joke.

I don't handle stress well.



The "First Day" turned out much less nerve-wracking than anticipated. I had all my books in order, chatted with a few fellow students, found all my classrooms with ease, and was generally excited. About two weeks in I took my first test and saw on Blackboard that I had passed with flying colors. Life was good and I was having a wonderful time.

My third week everything fell apart.

My grades were no longer perfect 100s. I was swamped with homework. I was very low on sleep. And I made several mistakes at work which caused my already stressed boss to be unusually sharp with me.

Then my car broke down.

Because of the car trouble, I was unable to go see my dearest friend for a weekend of fun.

And to top it all off, a guy asked me to go get coffee with him.

The latter seems like a minor issue. But it wasn't to me.

You see, I really liked this guy--as a friend. And I would have loved to go get coffee with him (the effects of caffeine on me aside) but I really doubted that was all he was hoping for. I have turned down dates before but they were never people I knew or cared about. Either that or I was able to do them through a third party. Also, they were openly dating invitations. Stepping across the line and suggesting someone might be asking for a date when they had not explicitly said so is one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever done. But it was necessary.

And of course, he claimed he was just asking as my friend.

We had a blunt and rocky conversation over messenger (thank God he hadn't asked me face to face!) but we ended it with mutual acceptance and respect and the next time we saw each other in person our friendship moved smoothly on...for the most part.

Near the Ocoee River, TN

School, however, proceeded from difficult to more difficult and work digressed from bad to really bad.

I began to dread going to either place and found myself questioning my ability to do anything correctly. It was a very humbling experience.

A serious talk with my boss eased some tension from her. I think mostly because she realized she was allowing her personal stress to spill over in irritation towards me. I am still making mistakes and still feel the full weight of trying to do a job we both know I am not qualified for but we are managing for now. I think we are both aware I won't be around for much longer.

School has not lightened up but with the resurrection of my car and the relief from work I can handle it better.

Last week went well. I took it one day at a time and put effort and prayer into each day and the Lord blessed the work of my hands.

And then...I got sick...

Seven weeks down, nine to go, and then Christmas break.

It's just life, I know. C'est la vie. But sometimes, I wish Life would take itself elsewhere and leave me alone for a while.

Many times it's not easy looking on the positive side and remembering where our roots are and what grounds us. All we can see is failure and loss. Some days we have to make the conscious decision to turn towards Him who is the Author and Perfector of our faith. The source of all our joy.

The Sandia Mountains, NM

Blessings to all my faithful readers who are still around after months of silence. I hope you are doing well! How has life been treating you and what have you been learning? Leave me a comment--I'd love to hear about it!