Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Grandma, School, Work, and Intentionally Adventuring

I keep starting this post and then feeling overwhelmed at the thought of all that has occurred. So I put it off until a future time and...even more happens! 😄 I apologize for a lengthy post.

We got my Grandma moved in with us. In many ways, it has been easier emotionally than we anticipated.  We all feel the loss of time and liberty but mostly, it's enjoyable to have her here.

I survived my finals--fever and all. Quite frankly, by the time they occurred, I had more important things on my mind and was too exhausted to care about my scores. I walked out with a 3.93 GPA and am convincing myself that is acceptable. Started back for the spring semester last week. So far, so good!

At the beginning of 2019, I quit my job at the community music education center. Last week, in the midst of filling out paperwork to accept a librarian position at school, I received a call informing me there had been a clerical error. I was not actually eligible for a work-study and should never have been offered the job. So  I am back to the idea of cleaning houses for income until this semester ends.

I have now taken care of 3/4 of the title of this post. So what on earth does "Intentionally Adventuring" mean?

Well, that's where things get interesting. And long.

In November I received a Facebook friend request from a guy in the community band. A little warning bell went off in my head and intended to accept and then block him on messenger (have done this several times to prevent a young guy from being able to contact me). Between school, work, and many other things I forgot to do the second half of that sentence. Several weeks later we were at the same concert and he happened to see me near the front. He apparently decided that was a natural time to start a messenger conversation with me.

I turned into a cactus. All spikes and needles. And lots of awkward silences because I would drop conversations. He didn't seem to notice though and managed to push through and keep up semi-regular contact.  And...I began to be attracted to him.

But it was all wrong. He had an M. Div. We home church. He and I knew each other but my parents had never even heard his name. He came from the traditional dating background and I come from one that is not too distant from arranged marriages.

Over time we somehow developed a very shaky...something...and I invited him to play frisbee with me and a bunch of other friends (I had invited other guys before so it's not as forward as it sounds). Afterward... (it seemed natural at the time but now I wonder how I could have been so gutsy!! 😆) I invited him home for supper. The next day came the curiosity and grilling (by Mom primarily). No, I did not know if he was interested. Yes, I thought he was but I couldn't be sure. And yes, for the first time ever, a guy had caught my attention.

Christmas Eve, he vaguely mentioned his goals and intentions and I finally got the opening I had been wanting. He still whines about the 30 WHOLE MINUTES I waited before responding (was genuinely busy with family Christmas things).

To make a long story short, we are in a relationship. But if anyone ever tells you they're all hearts and rainbows, ask them what fairyland they come from.

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Melding two very different lives together and constantly asking, can we make this work? should we get married eventually? is this forever or just a passing interest? is not easy. Especially since my mom cannot shake the premonition that it will end badly even though she is trying to remain open. This causes her to put off negative vibes every time I speak of him or mention spending time together. She and I have talked about this and she has no distinct grounds of concern she can articulate. Just a gut feeling. This makes me feel torn. If  I spend time with him, I feel I disrespect her. If I don't spend time with him, I wrong our chance to figure things out. It puts a strain on both relationships.

Not to scare other young women away from ever having a relationship. We've had plenty of fun and laughter.

One particular instance we frequently reference was a time before the talk when I meant to message, "Sometimes you are very encouraging." My phone decided to help things along and changed it to, "Sometimes you are very beautiful." #awkward

But where does "Intentionally Adventuring" play into all this? Well, since my dad balks at both the terms "dating" and "courting" the guy and  I tossed around several ideas jokingly one afternoon. I suggested "Adventuring" as a more positive option and he agreed but suggested we add "Intentional" since that seems to be my dad's favorite relationship word. So we are "Intentionally Adventuring" which makes us "Adventure Buddies".

You cannot deny, that's pretty cute. We're pretty cute. 😁

@bridieeob  You better get used to being tagged in things... im on a tagging spree

How has your 2019 been going so far? Any new and exciting adventures?


  1. oh, wow! This story is so cute! But I totally get your parents worries. I was in a relationship very similar to this, and was so in love. And yes it ended badly for me. But I don't think it had to, nor do I think it must for everyone. (my current WIP is actually about my whole "dating" experience and breakup). But I really like what you guys are calling your relationship. Also, if you ever need to talk to someone about any of this, I'm totally here. Because I get how hard it can be and I'm hoping everything works our beyond wonderful for you!

    1. oh, and that's also so sad about your library job ;/ But I housecleaning is really quite good money! I do it full time and love it

    2. Thank you for your encouragement Keturah! It's been difficult from many ways but I am praying the Lord works through it for both our benefits'!

  2. I LOVE the name 'intentionally adventuring'! That's so cool. I really hope that your relationships with this man and your mum both grow stronger in the Lord over the next few weeks and months. <3

    1. Thank you for your kind words Jane! It's not been easy but God is good. :)


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