So Grandma Made Me Mad...

Tonight at supper we had been going cheerfully along when Grandma suddenly announced,

"You know how I've been telling people how lovely a family you all are to take care of me? Well, I don't feel like that anymore." She continued, "I get stuck away in a corner at supper and no one talks to me. No one helps me do anything. I ought to just stomp off to my room and slam the door."

It made me mad.

Mom and I have both been very sick this week and despite that, we have cooked good dinners, given her a shower, and helped her to the bathroom, which was the new demand today. (Mostly Mom)

I know she is not logical anymore. I know she is not herself. Some other gremlin has taken over her mind and my sweet, loving, servant-hearted Grandma is not the one talking.

But it still makes me mad.

My biggest fear when we first arranged to move her in with us was that I would come to resent her. I think that time may have come. Which also makes me mad at myself.

The Bible study I am doing right now is teaching on grace. Primarily God's grace towards us. Before that, it focused on love.  And yet I struggle so much with grace and love towards my Grandma.

I frequently am reminded James 1:27a -- "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress"


Previously this made think of vicars daughters in 19th century England who took charming walks in flowy white dresses to deliver baskets of jellies and loaves of bread to sweet old ladies who blessed them with nuggets of life knowledge and quite possibly a large fortune at their deaths.

With a more modern and realistic application staring me in the face I dig in my heels. It's not pretty. It's not rewarding. It's downright maddening sometimes.

I don't want to do it.

But it is right.

And I must.