Beware the Insta-Perfect Life

Ever looked at someone's Instagram and thought, "Wow. If I were them life would be perfect?"

I struggle with this a lot.

That girl who regularly posts flawless pictures on Facebook, hair floating perfectly, makeup spotless, handsome guy staring at her adoringly. I want to be her. I see the pictures and think, if only I would be willing to get up earlier and do my hair. If I bought that expensive lipstick I saw in the store. If I didn't let myself wear t-shirts. If only my guy and I got along as perfectly as that.

Facebook. Instagram. Pinterest.

Those are the highest sources of discontent in my life.


And what is that old saying? Oh, that's right. "Comparison is the enemy of contentment."

But I buck against this idea. It feels like saying that I need to just accept the fact that I am not as naturally beautiful as she is. I will never have the skill and money to make my face look like hers. I am not enough to get a guy who worships the ground I tread on. So I tell myself, I will get up earlier. I will put in more time and effort on my face and hair. I will just fork out that money for the new shirt and forget about my budget. No more french fries. No more ice cream. I can be perfect if I am willing to work for it. Then, I too can post pictures so that the rest of the world can envy me.

The day my Adventure Buddy and I went on our first..."adventure" (i.e. date--just don't tell my parents I used that dirty word) my best friend accidentally met a guy. In rapid succession, they dated, got engaged with her parent's enthusiastic endorsement, and started planning a wedding. Her life just fell into place. The guy was perfect, her family loved him, and they were so excited to do life together. The ring was beautiful, he bought a house, and Facebook showed pictures of one very happy couple.

Then my mom sat me down and assured me I could find a much better guy. 

I'm not sure I could imagine two much more opposite experiences.

It was extremely difficult not to be jealous or bitter towards my best friend. Not only was I about to lose her to a guy, but also, everything looked so perfect for her while my life was being trashed. I wanted to be engaged but he wasn't ready and my parents were more than a little skeptical.

A month before my BFF's wedding she texted me asking for prayer. Her fiance and she had just had a huge fight and she had no idea how it could ever be right again.  You know what appeared on Facebook the next day?

Their engagement pictures. Smiling, beautiful couple, as peaceful and perfect as anyone could imagine. The comments flooded in. "You look so happy!" "We can tell how in love you are." "Perfect for each other!"

And behind the scenes, she was texting me, "It's getting worse. I don't know how that's possible. He thinks I don't love him because I am not willing to move up there. I feel like I have to finish my responsibilities down here and that he doesn't love me because he won't understand and accept this. Our talks are so strained right now."

I love my best friend. It's not a stretch when I say I wouldn't be here without her. She has been by my side through some dark times and I would protect her from a moment of pain if there was any way I could. But big confession here: there was a tiny bit of relief at seeing this struggle. And it really brought home the truth--

There is no such thing as a perfect life.  

That girl with silky smooth skin? She uses a fancy app to edit her pictures and remove blemishes.

Those engagement pictures with the ring so proudly shown? She wanted a different stone and he couldn't afford it.

The flawless outfit on Pinterest? The model gave the clothes back to the designer as soon as the shoot was over and put her sweatpants and hoody back on.

We show the online world the face we want them to see. The blissful, charming, and enviable parts of life. Why wouldn't we? Who wants to share that we are broken out? Or can't afford the newest styles? That's embarrassing and shameful. We must hide it at all costs!

But that face is not the truth.

And I believe we should be very aware of deceiving ourselves that such a perfect looking life does exist. Because, if we are convinced of that, we will always be striving for the impossible and never able to find happiness.

I know this seed of fear and discontent has affected every aspect of my life. My finances. My relationships. My confidence. It's a big deal and I think  I should be drastic in rooting out the source. This might even be something like getting off of social media...

...an idea that I really dislike...

...but cutting out the biggest resources for comparing myself to this fake image could have a drastic impact on my life and happiness. Would it not be worth it?

What do you think? Do you struggle with comparison and envy? Do you wish for the perfect life you imagine your friends and acquaintances must have? Do you have ideas for ways to combat this? I'm more than open to other ideas and suggestions!