Relationship Apathy

(I finally gave my Adventure Buddy a link to this blog. It’s such a separated part of my life I honestly didn’t think of it before. I felt very nervous knowing he could access it. But in just the first night he read half of it. And he says I should keep writing. Lucky you! 😉 )

I’ve been struggling lately with complete disinterest in anything spiritual. Or perhaps, not struggling since I haven’t really tried to improve my situation. More like apathy.

When I told my AB this he asked “Why?”

Truthfully, I don’t know.

I could blame it on others. My church, my coworkers, quarantine. But I really don’t think I have a good excuse. I’ve just become lazy.

Recently my Facebook feed has seemed to be full of divorcing couples. I hate this. How can someone the Bible says you become one with suddenly become something you want out of your life? It doesn’t make sense. Or it shouldn’t.

These situations always make me wonder, what went wrong? Who messed up, and how? I know everyone makes mistakes but at what point do you say, I know we promised “for better or worse” but this is unforgivable?

Most of the time, I don’t actually think there is a big mistake.

I think the couple got apathetic.

They stopped working for their marriage.

It seems to me like a river. Two canoes bump together and might wash down stream side by side in the current for a while but if the people inside fall asleep or relax too much they’ll start drifting apart. They have to paddle. Or hold hands. Some sort of intentional work to keep them together.

A marriage must require work—before it has problems and the need is felt. Intentionally spending time together, taking interest in the other person and their life, encouraging them to talk and truly listening, etc.

Not that I am a marriage expert, clearly. Just my thoughts from the outside.

It occurred to me my spiritual relationship is the same way.

I can get comfortable with my daily routine. I’m not doing anything blatantly wrong so my heavenly relationship is all good, right? And the next thing I know I am disinterested and out of touch.

Time to work on that.

Read, whether I want to or not. Talk to God, even if I don’t have anything to say. And harder to do right now, but still absolutely vital, discuss what I am learning (or not learning) with others.

I don’t think this is a new revelation to me. 

Seems to be something I have to learn over and over.