Saying Goodbye//The Adventure Continues

 

This year has been impossible to describe.

I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. 

Apart from COVID-19 turning the world upside down it's brought some unexpected life events for me.

When we moved Grandma in with us almost two years ago, we did it with the goal of providing her love and care until the moment she went to be with Jesus. We knew it would be difficult, and though specific elements might have surprised us, we always agreed together that we had signed up for this.

Grandma Dear has advanced so far into Dementia that she spends her days either rambling, calling my Mom's name every 15 seconds, or, more frequently calling for "Mother" and "Daddy"--my parents. She also is completely enveloped by constant crippling fear to the point that it often took three of us to transfer her from her chair to the bedside commode and back again. All while she was bawling and begging "No, no, no!"

It brought a rise of varied emotions. 

Frustration that she couldn't  understand simple things like, "Take a drink". Exhaustion from having to constantly watch her so she didn't eat a hearing aide, or napkin, and sorrow at how removed from the lovely, giving, adult she once was.

And she was rapidly becoming more than we could physically manage.

So, a few weeks ago my mother and aunts made the decision to pass her care to a capable nursing home. This was done with much grief. Thanks to this pandemic visitations are limited to three days a week, thirty minutes at a time, across a six foot table. Grandma rarely knows who we are any more and looks up even less. Once she finishes her two weeks of quarantine, none of us expect these visits to mean much to her.

Mom has been grieving hard. We have prayed for the Lord to take Grandma, and she herself has prayed for Him to come get her, but He has not answered. Mom is really, really, struggling with anger at God over this.

"It would have been easier if she died. Then I wouldn't have felt like I was abandoning her."

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last November I did something I will forever regret.

I pushed my Adventure Buddy to ask my dad for my hand, before he was ready.

And my dad, refused to give him an answer, or even communicate on the subject until two months had passed and I finally brought it up.

 Then, he told my AB, "No. Go find an easy girl from your own denomination."

I know being bitter is wrong. But I still have a lot towards my parents for how they handled this situation. 

I don't particularly feel like rehashing the worst months of my life so let me summarize.

My AB refused to give up.

At the beginning of August he invited me to watch the sunrise and drink coffee with him at my favorite spot by the lake. When I arrived at the crack of dawn the had out his guitar and a music stand and proceeded to sing me a song that he wrote about our relationship. The good, the hilarious, and the difficult times. I was incredibly touched...but also rather drowsy. 

The he ended with:

"I know I'm not down on one knee,

But your dad said okay,

So will you marry me?"

His determination paid off. Refusing to give up finally earned my dad's respect and after being together for over 1 1/2 years my dad had caught my AB and said, "It might be awkward for you to bring this back up. So I'll go ahead and tell you, it's okay to ask now."

And I did say yes. Though I was apparently so incredulous that my AB had to ask twice.

So...

We gettin' married!

One month from today actually.

Cue running around like crazy to get everything ready!!