Why I Want to Get Married (and that's a good thing)

Some of you who have been around for a while may have read my post last year on why I didn't want to get married. You may have also read some of the raw things I said after someone was interested in marrying me and things didn't work out. (You can read the first post here. And the sequel here.)

I admit, I am a confusing person with conflicting opinions so please bear with me as I try to explain how and why my has heart changed in twelve months.


When Mac (the guy who was interested in me last year) first asked about getting to know me he was informed I didn't particularly want to get married. In an email he later wrote to my father he admitted he was praying that the Lord would change my mind.


He doesn't know of course, but God did answer his prayer.

It is difficult to say why I wasn't interested in marriage. Growing up I think I had assumed every Christian marriage resembled my parents', at least behind closed doors. Not to disparage my father and mother but simply put most people would consider my father controlling. He is overbearing and in response my mother's personality has folded and she has become insecure. (That said all of their children love the Lord and are successful adults so you have to consider that they did something right.) I assumed most marriages between people with a Biblical view of men and women secretly looked similar.  Some day, I too would have to simply choose my best option for an overlord, or continue living under my father for the rest of my life. Both prospects were unattractive.

But Mac was different. Different from any other man who had expressed interest and really, from any man I had ever known before. He perfectly blended the logical theologian that my father always inspected for, with the sensitive and caring leader I had always looked for. I realized that life with him would look very different from my parents' lives.

And it was something I might enjoy.

Life with Mac didn't happen, obviously (and yes, that was a good thing!), but my perspective was altered. I finally saw that with the right guy I could joyfully choose submission rather than giving it grudgingly because I had vowed to. And I also understood that with the right guy, we really could form a team. A team that was stronger together. Not a team that would have one side pulling the other along.


My eyes were gradually opened to the fact that with work, time, love, and the right man what  I had always considered an unrealistic fantasy really could happen.

I am still inclined to think that Mr. Right doesn't exist for me. (Not that this prevents me from vaguely wondering about various guys, I am still a human female--I think!?) It's just my natural cynicism popping up. And the result is that I have not bothered to prepare my heart, mind, or hands for the potential of being someone's wife. Whenever I start to think about it, it feels silly. Because, he is just a figment of my imagination, yes?

...And, I say this with some humor, I am skeptical whether or not the women in my family are destined for marriage. After all, my sister is in her thirties and still single despite a decade and a half with as many guys falling at her feet.

Recently I have begun looking for ways to make myself better understand marriage is a real possibility that I should be preparing myself for. Because if Mr. Right does exist and happens to come along, I want to be ready for him.

The result? I wrote a letter to my FH for the first time. 

In the past I always argued against doing this but after much research and thought I do believe it can be beneficial in the right circumstances. And yes, I plan on doing a future post on this topic!

But for now, I have rambled long enough.

Thoughts? Opinions? Corrections? I love hearing from you!